The True Captain of My Soul

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

These are the last two lines from the poem, Invictus, by William Ernest Henley. It's been quoted by many people throughout history as an expression of the tenacity and triumph of the human spirit. It also invokes the idea that no matter the odds, we have the ability to control our own destinies. While some may find this inspiring, this is terrifying to me.

During a past trial, I was faced with the grim possibility that the outcome of my future was solely up to me. There was no one nearby who could give me the help I needed. The loneliness and being at a complete loss felt worse than the situation itself. What if I made a wrong decision? Not only could I ruin my life but also the lives of others. I was a believer, and my concept of God was better than the absent deity in Invictus, but not by much. He was just one of many players in the drama with slightly more power but not enough to be fully in charge. But then in God's mercy, his sovereignty dawned on my soul like the sun breaking through months of emotional gloom. I began to cling to the hope that God was really in control even though circumstances wanted to convince me otherwise. There was a growing security I had never known before -  the knowledge that my life was in his hands instead of my own. 

Fast forward to a week ago. I may be facing another big change in my life. Nothing on the scale as my previous trial but with enough similarity to resurrect the past. Anxiety is also good at taking bad memories and extrapolating them into present day worst-case scenarios. The fear of being alone, yet again, was overwhelming, and my stomach began to knot up with the same visceral response. I knew objectively that God was, is, and will be faithful, but it was a struggle as the fears would rise, abate, and rise again. Stiff-upper-lipping one's self out of worry is impossible. I've tried it more times than I can count. But God is a compassionate Father who is able to minister to his children in just the right way and at just the right time.

My pastor was out of town, so the pulpit was filled Sunday evening by another brother who spoke on Psalm 139. These are familiar verses, but this time, they were fresh, living, and active, as the Holy Spirit took them and applied them straight to my heart.

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

God's knowledge of us isn't detached but intimate and bound up with his love and care. He knows our concerns before we voice them. He knows our sitting down and rising up and every mundane detail of our lives. He knows where we've been, where we are right now, and where we are headed in the future. Nothing is hidden from his gaze. He has seen us at our worst, and yet he has saved us. Time, distance, and even space cannot separate us from him. And as I heard these truths, the knot in my stomach began to loosen, and relief washed over my soul.

Afterwards, I thanked this brother and told him that his sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. He then shared that he had originally intended to speak on a different text, but Psalm 139 kept coming back to mind. All I can say is that this is further evidence of the Father's kindness to his poor struggling child.

So while there may be merit to Invictus as a literary work, thanks but no thanks to its worldview. I still don't know what my future will hold, but I am glad to be reminded again of who is the real Master of my fate and the true Captain of my soul. And I praise him that he knows me. It's no wonder that David writes:

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

Update: Here is the link to Will Brown's sermon. 

Humble Roots: A review and giveaway

Humble Roots: How Humility Grounds and Nourishes Your Soul, Hannah Anderson, Moody Publishers, October 2016, 207 pages.

When it comes to the twists and turns of life, no one really expects to be able to handle the really big things, so we cut ourselves some slack. The little things should be well within our grasp, or so we think. But when the normal stuff of everyday life overwhelms us, stress and anxiety kick in. If this does not apply to you, praise God, but for the rest of us, we need help. This latest book by Hannah Anderson does just that by getting to the root of the problem - pride.

When we think of pride, boasting and promoting one's self are obvious manifestations. But what about thinking "we are stronger and more capable than we actually are... that we must do and be more than we are able?" (pg. 40) Thus we push ourselves to the limit and find ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. We find ourselves longing for rest, but this rest is only to be found "when we humble ourselves and submit to Him." (pg. 25) Yet humility is more than self-abasement or changing external behavior. It comes from seeing Jesus for who He really is in His person and His work. In that light, we are humbled because "He is the model and the means of our own humility."  (pp. 76, 57) However, the book does not end here. The author applies humility to how we view our physical bodies, emotions, and minds. It also affects the way we steward the gifts God has given us, pursue our desires, and make sense of the brokenness of this world.

I loved Hannah's first book, Made for More, so I was eager to read Humble Roots. I appreciate that she writes from a perspective of wholeness in that we are body and soul and our faith should make a difference in every aspect of our lives. I also appreciate that her books speak across a wide range of age and experience. I gave a copy of Humble Roots to my college-aged daughter who is dealing with academic stress and the new responsibilities of adulthood. (She could not put the book down and had to make herself stop reading and do her homework.) I am middle-aged and tempted to be complacent in the skills that I have acquired over the years. But I am also becoming more aware that it will only be a matter of time before the strength of body and mind will be diminished just with age alone. This book ministered to us both because, even though we are at different stages in life, we cannot shoulder the burdens of life ourselves. Without Him, we can do nothing.

Humble Roots is a delight to read. It is beautifully written with examples from Hannah's life, her Appalachian church community, history, and horticulture. Humble Roots is also theologically sound and grounded in the gospel. It is convicting, but it will encourage you to find the rest that Jesus offers to weary souls. I highly recommend this book.


I will be giving away one copy of Humble Roots. Please enter your name and email address in the form below. The giveaway ends Sunday October 16 at midnight EDT. I will contact the winner the following day. Thanks for entering!

(The giveaway has ended.)

I received a copy of this book from Moody Publishers. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Let Him take care of the rest

Lord willing, I will be reviewing Hannah Anderson's new book, Humble Roots, in a couple weeks. I have not finished reading the entire book yet, but this passage was too good not to share. There are some days when it is more than enough to get through the day. Not that I've had any crises, but normal life can be so overwhelming at times. It feels especially more difficult when my nemesis, my inner Little Red Hen, tries to tell me that my only recourse is "do it myself." When I read this, it was a balm to my soul. I hope it encourages you as well.

Failure at small things reminds us of how helpless we are in this great, wide world. When little things spiral out of control, they remind us that even they were never within our control in the first place.

And this is terrifying.

Jesus understood this. He understood that small things can unsettle us more than large things; so when He called the people of Galilee to leave their anxiety—when He calls us to do the same— He does so in context of very mundane, very ordinary concerns.

“Do not be anxious about your life,” He assures them, “what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.”...

“But if God so clothes the grass of the field . . . will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

We may be unable to cope with the most basic realities of existence; but He isn’t. In fact, He’s already providing food for the birds and luxurious garments for the flowers. They don’t worry because they know that their Creator cares for them. They don’t worry because they know the One who keeps this world running...  

When we believe that we are responsible for our own existence, when we trust our ability to care for ourselves, we will have nothing but stress because we are unequal to the task. You know this. Deep inside, you know your limits even as you fight against them. You know your helplessness even as you press forward by sheer determination. But at some point, the world becomes too much, and the largeness of life threatens to overwhelm you. And when it does, you must stop. And you must do what Jesus told His friends and followers to do on that flowered hillside overlooking the Sea of Galilee: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Your heavenly Father knows what you need. He knows your heart is troubled. He also knows, better than you do, that all these things are beyond you. And so, this is what you must do, all that you must do: You must seek Him. And let Him take care of the rest.

From Humble Roots: How Humility Grounds and Nourishes Your Soul, Hannah Anderson, Moody Publishers, 2016, pp. 26-29.

Anxiety and the Battle for the Mind

This morning, we welcome Diane Bucknell, who blogs at Theology For Girls, to Out of the Ordinary.  Anxiety and depression are issues that affect many women, and the issues can be difficult if one is a Christian.  I asked Diane to share her insights with us.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you,

 because he trusts in you. ~ Jeremiah 26:3

As I was preparing this I typed “anxiety” into the book search bar at Amazon and pulled up 13,865 results, so we’re obviously talking about a very common problem!

First, I’m one who firmly believes that some forms of anxiety have a biological origin, therefore we’ll be considering two different subjects; namely  ordinary anxiety or worry as spoken of in Scripture, and anxiety that has a biological cause.   These two anxiety states can easily feed on each other, and trying to separate them can be a bit like a surgeon separating conjoined twins. So, let’s take a brief look at each one.

Ordinary Anxiety or Worry

This is defined as worry, fear, fretting, and allowing our thoughts to run wild with the cares of the world. It’s the kind of anxiety that keeps us lying awake at night ruminating on all the “what ifs?” of our situation. This is the anxiety our lovely Lord Jesus exhorts us not to do because He orders all of the events in our lives and cares for us as a loving Father. When we worry and fret we fail to trust in Him and we think somehow if we worry enough about the situation we can come up with a solution. The Lord knows how prone we are to prideful unbelief so He gently encourages us:

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ~ Matthew 6:25-27

Diagnosing this kind of anxiety is not rocket science and it doesn't take a doctor, psychiatrist, or prolonged Biblical counseling sessions to deal with it because the cause is obvious.  We worry about money, our health, family, relationships, and this or that.  In other words, we can easily put our finger right on the problem. This kind of worry can become so excessive that it can even lead to panic attacks.

A plethora of books are available on the subject, but we have in our possession something so much better to combat our worries and fears! We have the living and active Word of God which is the only Counseling Book containing supernatural ability to change our thinking habits as we apply it through the power of the Holy Spirit!

"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart "~ Hebrews 4:12

One of the problems with psychology that can also happen in Biblical counseling is that people often run to the professionals before they flee to Christ and His Word, hoping the counselor might be able to gaze into their soul, figure them out, and then perform the corrective surgery. Now, please don’t misunderstand me because I’m not saying that we shouldn’t seek Biblical counsel, because God has richly blessed the church with people who are gifted to help others in this way. But we must realize that we already have a “Wonderful Counselor” (Isaiah 9:6) who says “I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (Ps 32:8.). Our heart is so utterly deceived by our own sin that no one can truly understand it but the Lord. At the end of the day, (or session) it will only be Christ who can fix our broken minds and hearts and deliver us from our angst.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the LORD search the heart and test the mind" ~ Jeremiah 17:9

Biologically Based Anxiety

This kind of anxiety can hit us like a ton of bricks coming virtually out of nowhere, even in our sleep! It can strike when things are going well for us spiritually and we’re prayed up, confessed up, Scriptured up,and trying our best to walk with Christ. In spite of this we can become sidelined with relentless panic attacks, anxiety that won’t let up over time and sometimes dark depression. Like David we cry out to the Lord “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my anxious thoughts!” (Ps.139:23 ) and still we come up empty handed and miserable. Friends, if this were the kind of anxiety that resulted from sinful unbelief and worry; we would know it because our God does not play hide-and-go-seek games with us concerning our sin when we desire holiness!

It is believed that most people will experience at least one panic attack in their lifetime but this is something way beyond the norm. This type of anxiety interferes with a person’s life and well being and can even become disabling. If you find yourself in this place you need not condemn yourself, or ALLOW others make you feel that you’re a spiritual failure, rather you should consider making an appointment with our doctor.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) of the American Psychiatric Association, although controversial among Christians, establishes specific criteria for coding and determining whether a mental disorder is due to a general medical condition or a psychiatric one:

'There is evidence from the history, physical examination, or laboratory findingsthat the disturbance is the direct physiological consequence of a general medical condition’ (1) When a mental disorder is due to a general medical condition, one does not diagnose the primary psychiatric disorder with the same symptom, but rather codes the symptom secondary to the general medical condition. Thus,with anxiety one would not code 300.02, generalized anxiety disorder, but rather 293.89, anxiety disorder due to a general medical condition.(2)

Anxieties triggered by medical conditions are well documented by the National Institutes of Health and all major teaching institutions. Some of the most common causes of anxiety (and depression) are endocrine disorders, autoimmune diseases such as hypothyroidism (Hashimoto’s), hyperthyroidism (Graves Disease), heart and lung conditions, gastrointestinal problems and other illnesses such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia. Additionally, chronic long term stress, such as being the caregiver for a sick loved one can also upset our chemistry. And then there are those pesky hormonal fluctuations that can trigger panic attacks and depression in women going through peri-and menopause.

If you and your doctor decide medication would be best for you, please understand that it is no more sinful or shameful to take medication for anxiety than it is to take it for diabetes or high blood pressure!

And in the case of hormone or thyroid imbalances, it’s often just a matter of getting those things leveled out with hormone replacement medication. Most of us are already aware that drugs can be doled out too freely, but we’re not talking about that issue here. More often than not medication will only be needed temporarily unless there is a chronic illness.

The believer who desires to live abundantly in Christ will find the struggle with biologically based anxiety to be a very real and serious affliction which can be compounded by the fact that our minds are always engaged with our bodies. In other words, we can easily slip into a perpetual pattern of sinful worry and obsession during medically induced anxiety and panic episodes. This can become a vicious cycle that we must strive to break free from, but nothing is too difficult to sort out for the Lord who made us!

We can benefit greatly from simple things like breathing and relaxation techniques, mentally holding up a big red “Stop Sign” when we feel ourselves slipping into panic mode, and taking a warm bath with a cup of hot tea. Above all we need to pray and use our Bibles to talk to ourselves. Self-talk is very therapeutic! Here’s an example of how the Psalmist did this:

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." ~ Psalm 43:5

Regardless of the source of our anxiety it would serve us well to write down comforting Scriptures and meditate on them daily. Post them by your bed or on your fridge. Remind yourself of all the wonderful promises of God. He knows our frame because He created us and we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” – even with our imperfections.

Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. ~ I Peter 5:7

(1) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fourth Edition, Washington DC, American Psychiatric Press, 1994, 7
(2)  "Anxiety and Endocrine Disease" by Dr. Richard C Hall: University of Florida, Gainesville


Suggested Resources:

The Peace that Passes Understanding, by Ed Welch
Christians Get Depressed Too, by Dr. David Murray
The Anxiety Cure, by Dr. Archibald Hart
TableTalk Magazine, Anxiety, January 2010
Medical Conditions That Cause Anxiety