The Comparison Trap

In Monday's post, Melissa accurately described the stress of "keeping up with the Joneses." Based on the reader response, many of us could relate to the notion that we would be better Christian women if we did [fill in subject] or copied [fill in name]. Given the overabundance of information at our fingertips, it's no wonder that the pressure to do it all, do it well, and photograph it tastefully seems to have grown with the size of our bandwidth. The number of global Joneses has far exceeded the neighbors down the street.

But this comparison trap is a rather artful device that may ensnare us in a different way. On the one hand, we compare ourselves to others and feel inadequate because we don't measure up. But on the flip side, we may compare ourselves to others and look askance at those who don't measure up to us. 

For example, I started going gray when I crossed the half-century mark. I've chosen not to color my hair mainly because I don't want to spend the money or the time. But I've fallen into the comparison trap as soon as I attach a sense of moral superiority to my decision, as though a woman's vanity can be judged by whether or not she has kissed Miss Clairol™ goodbye.

This snare seems to spring into action over issues that are not as clear-cut in Scripture, areas of practice and preference rather than principle. So what should fall under the heading of Christian liberty often becomes a measuring stick with which we assess others. I remember when toting one's television to the curb was a sure sign of piety a few decades ago, and woe to those who did not follow suit. Sound familiar?

Now don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that our choices about time, money, leisure, and everything that affects us should be a direct result of Who we belong to. But sometimes we forget that we are in various stages of sanctification. Our struggles with sin aren't identical. You may be strong where I am weak and vice versa. The Holy Spirit may be focusing His lens on an area in your life that is different from mine. The means may be different and the day-to-day outworking as well. But this is His work. Not mine. Not yours. It's His prerogative to prune and produce fruit as He pleases for which none of us can take the credit.

So when I fall into the comparison trap...
When I'm tempted to pat myself on the back and think others should do as I have done...
When I think I was wise enough to make a right decision or take even the tiniest step in the Christian walk on my own...

May I repent of my pride and remember these words:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (ESV)

The Gospel According to Pinterest

It seems I’m always one step away from being completely overwhelmed by social media. I’ve purged my Twitter and Instagram feeds and I’ve radically altered my Facebook settings. These changes have made social media more enjoyable for me. I can better process what I see. I don’t feel as if I’m dodging a barrage of words and images being hurled at me at lightning speed.

 Pinterest is another story.

When I first created my account, I thought Pinterest was a wonderful idea. All those recipes, craft projects, and tips conveniently saved for later perusal. But “later” hardly ever came, until last week. 500+ pins, all testifying to my insatiable need to be better.

  A better cook.

  A better decorator.

  A better homemaker.

  A better reader.

  A better student of the Bible.

Projects I will never tackle, recipes I will never cook, and homemade cleaning solutions I will never try - they all mocked me horrendously. Staring at all the amazing things other women are doing, I felt ashamed.

Ashamed that I’m not making my own lotion and keeping my husband from the numerous toxins lurking inside the store-bought bottle on our bathroom counter.

Ashamed that I’m not making everything from scratch and protecting my family from the myriad dangers of harmful pesticides and GMOs. Not to mention the money I could be saving.

Ashamed that I’m not making my own gifts or wrapping paper to show my friends how much I truly care about them.

 Ashamed that I’m not reading more books or participating in the latest revolutionary Bible study methods.

If I subscribe to the gospel according to my Pinterest feed, I will feel compelled to do these things in order to save myself and my family. I will, as Michael Horton writes in his book Ordinary: Sustainable Faith in a Radical, Restless World, be "driven by more a desire for self-justification and self-acclaim than by being secure in Christ enough to tend now to the actual needs of others." (36)

Paul's opening chapter in his letter to the church at Ephesus is a much-needed reminder of the basis for my justification.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth— in Him. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.

In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.

(Eph. 1:3-14 NKJV, emphasis mine) 

My salvation does not rest on whether I feed my family a gluten-free, paleo, vegan, organic diet.

My salvation is not found in making my own laundry and dishwasher detergent.

My salvation is not earned by decking the halls of my home for every season.

Pinterest has given me some wonderful recipes and household tips that have blessed my family. Yet I must remember that my salvation is in Christ, and in Him alone. My salvation is not the result of my own efforts; it is because I was chosen in Him (v. 4) and accepted in Him (v. 6), because I have been redeemed in Him (v. 7) and have obtained an inheritance in Him (v. 11), because I have trusted in Him, and have been sealed with the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of that inheritance (vv.13-14).

Believers have comfort to live upon that the world knows nothing about. We have the comfort of God’s promises. And what do you think is best, to live upon earthly pleasures, or upon the promises of God? The earthly are yes and no, but the promises are yes and amen. The earthly are deceitful, but the promises are sure and faithful. The earthly feed the sense, but the promises fill the soul. He that lives upon the promises, lives by faith, and the life of faith is the only safe and true life in the world.

- Matthew Mead (source)

 I am in Christ. I have been given the right to live upon the promises of God rather than the hollow promises of the world. I have been set free from the gospel according to Pinterest.

Yes and amen.

Holy Parentheses

It's been a busy week: sick grandchildren, a deadline for another project—and more. Here it is, my turn to post here and I have nothing. But I did read something last night that I loved, and I think you might like it, too.

In his book The Deep Things of God: How the Trinity Changes Everything, Fred Sanders points out that the work of the Son and the work of the Holy Spirit are thoroughly intertwined as they fulfill their roles the plan of salvation. As proof, he quotes a list from R. A. Torrey's summary of Christian doctrine, What the Bible Teaches (pages 287-89)—a biblical list of ways Jesus's earthly ministry is accomplished in the power Holy Spirit. 

1. Jesus Christ was begotten of the Holy Spirit. (Luke 1:35)
2. Jesus Christ led a holy, spotless life, and offered Himself to God through the working of the Holy Spirit. (Hebrews 9:14)
3. Jesus Christ was anointed for service by the Holy Spirit. (Acts 10:38; Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:14, 18)
4. Jesus Christ was led by the Holy Spirit in His movements. (Luke 1:4)
5. Jesus Christ was taught by the Spirit who rested upon Him. The Spirit of God was the source of His wisdom in the days of His flesh. (Isaiah 11:2; compare Matthew 12:17, 18)
6. The Holy Spirit abode upon Him in fullness and the words He spoke were the words of God. (John 3:34)
7. Jesus Christ gave commandments to His apostles whom he had chosen, through the Holy Spirit. (Acts 1:2)
8. Jesus Christ wrought His miracles in the power of the Holy Spirit. (Matthew 12:28; compare 1 Corinthians 12:9-10)
9. Jesus Christ was raised from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 8:11)

And it doesn't end there. The Holy Spirit continues to be involved in the Son's accomplishment of salvation even after the ascension. He applies the work of Christ to believers, regenerating them and empowering them to live holy lives. Christ ascended into heaven and sent the Holy Spirit indwell his people. And at Pentecost, on the basis of the finished work of Christ, the Holy Spirit "inaugurates the new era in God's ways with the world."

"Thus," writes Sanders,

the work of the Holy Spirit surrounds the work of Jesus Christ, as he goes before and after the incarnate Son like a set of holy parentheses embracing the story of salvation in Christ. [Deep Things of God, page 135]

If you want to know more about the work of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in the work of salvation, or, to use Sanders terms, the Trinitarian shape of the gospel, The Deep Things of God is an excellent source.

How We Study the Bible

Here at the blog, we always encourage our readers to be in the Word as much as they can. What better topic for a post than reading the bible?

Today, some of us here at the blog are going to share our approach to bible reading. We hope you are encouraged by these comments. None of us believe we have the perfect approach. But, hopefully, if you're looking for some ideas, you'll get some.

Kim:

My bible reading is influenced by the fact that I teach every week. That means that what I teach, I study. Even in the summer months, as I plan ahead, I'm reading what I will ultimately teach.

Starting on Monday, I read the passage every day, about four or five times.  For each passage, I make up a worksheet which has the text on it in two versions, side by side. I use the ESV myself, but my students prefer the NIV. I just copy and paste from Bible Gateway, make nice wide margins and extra spacing, and that is where I begin my notes. Sometimes, I will do what is called "phrasing," but not every time. It's really time consuming, and I don't always have time. It is very beneficial, though, because it makes me slow down. I use a couple of commentaries to help me understand things I'm uncertain of. My goal in the first few days as I study is to be careful and slow, seeing the relationships between words, paragraphs and sections.

It's been quite a while since I read through the bible in a year, and this year I was inspired to do so after reading Tim Challies' blog, recommending God's Glory In Salvation Through Judgement.  I don't always get to that reading every day, but I play catch up on Sundays. I also read the Psalms daily, using a morning and evening schedule from The Common Book of Prayer.  Reading the Psalms feeds into my prayer time.

I do my bible study in the morning because my mind is well-rested. On some days, I take half an hour in the late afternoon to finish the Psalm readings for the day. Not everyone prefers morning reading, and I think it's a mistake to insist that it's the perfect time. My husband is not a morning person, and he prefers to read at night. The more important thing is to find the right time and place where one can be free from distractions.


Rebecca:

Except for when I’m reading something purely for entertainment, I am a very slow reader because I don’t want to miss anything. I’m even slower with my Bible reading. I usually read 4 or 5 verses a day (or even fewer), paying particular attention to the connections between words and the flow of the argument. I also circle the key words and often do a little research to see how the author of the book I’m reading tends to use a specific word. If I have a commentary on the book I’m reading, I’ll read what that says about the passage.

I've also done a little Bible arcing, particularly for the gospel of John. Like phrasing, arcing takes a lot of time, so I've abandoned it, but I would like to pick it up again someday.

In the past year or so I’ve worked my way slowly through John, Hebrews, Romans, and Ephesians. Right now I’m reading/studying the second chapter of 1 Peter. Since most of my reading in recent years has been in the New Testament, when I finish 1 Peter I plan to move on to something in the Old Testament.

I’ve read through the whole Bible in a year a few times. While it was useful for me to do it in order to get an overview of scripture,  I’ll probably never do it again. That kind of reading is a real chore for me. I enjoy my Bible reading much more when I’m not rushing through.

Unlike Kim, I study in the evening, because in my home, it’s the evenings that are quiet. One problem with studying the Bible in the evening is that can I get busy or tired and my Bible reading gets pushed off until tomorrow. This happens more frequently than I want to admit.

Melissa:

My Bible reading/study is constantly evolving. Even my original plan for this year has changed, because a friend recommended the study Behold Your God. After viewing the introductory video, I shared it with my husband. We knew this study would be a great fit for our family and we just started it this week.

During the week, I spend my morning study time working through Behold Your God. I plan to spend Saturday mornings reading through the Gospels, with a commentary as as reading companion. I probably read at a pace somewhere between Rebecca and Kim, so I expect to finish two of the Gospels this year.

On Sundays I like to review the Scripture from our sermon, again with a commentary as a reading companion. (We are currently studying Exodus, which is one reason I've chosen to study in the New Testament on my own.)

Each evening I finish out the day with New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional and the Scripture passage listed for further study. Ironic, I know; but it works best for me.

Getting back into a guided Bible study has made me realize how much of a benefit it is for me. When I finish Behold Your God, I will probably begin The Wisdom of God: Seeing Jesus in the Psalms and Wisdom Books by Nancy Guthrie. I imagine the rest of my reading will continue as I've outlined here, but I'm always open to change.

Persis:

I've given up trying to read the entire Bible every year. While I think it's very important to read through all 66 books, too often this has lead to my skimming the passage as quickly as possible so I can check the box. Consequently, I don't have a self-imposed deadline for my current reading/study. I read a passage in the morning along with the morning portion from Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. This allows me to consider what I read throughout the day and do more digging in the evening, which works better for my schedule. It's also rather settling for my soul to go to bed having just been in the Word. Am I always consistent? No, but I push on.

I am currently reading through the Old Testament chronologically. This was inspired by my pastor's current sermon series on Genesis, which has been tracing God's promise of the coming Messiah throughout this book. I am taking up this same theme but extending it to the whole OT. I've read The Gospel and Kingdom by Graeme Goldsworthy to get the big picture of the OT. I'm also reading From Paradise to the Promised Land: Tracing the Main Themes of the Pentateuch by T. Desmond Alexander. Alexander's book unpacks themes such as Abraham's faith, Passover, the Sinai covenant, and the Tabernacle and connects them to the New Testament. He also provides recommendations for commentaries and other resources for further study. I am currently in Exodus, so we will see whether I finish the OT this year or not.

Staci

A couple of years ago, I read through the Bible in 90 days. Apart from the time I read through the Bible chronologically, it was one of the most helpful things for my understanding of the Bible I'd ever done. I realized then that reading large chunks of Scripture was more helpful for me.

I've always been a big picture thinker. I can't really absorb details until I have a good overview. I tend to retain more by reading at a faster pace and then going back to it in a few months.

For the last couple of years, I've followed Professor Horner's Bible Reading System. In this plan, I read a chapter from several sections of the Bible each day. When I finish a section I start it again. For instance, if I don't miss any days, I read through the Gospels in 3 months (although it usually takes me closer to four). Reading through the prophets takes at least 8 months (but actually more like ten). As you can see, I miss days here and there. If I'm short on time, I just read a few of the chapters and don't worry about the whole list.

I've seen some interesting connections reading different chapters side by side. And since all the sections go at a different pace, I don't ever read the same chapters together. I return to the same sections every few months, and I pick up new details every time.

I usually read in the morning. If I don't get it done early it usually doesn't get done.

This isn't for everyone. Most people, like my friends, do better zeroing in on smaller sections. I'm a fairly fast reader, and my kids are old enough that they don't need much help in the morning. I doubt I could have managed this when my kids were small. But at this stage of life, with my current schedule, it works well for me.

Update:

It occurred to me that perhaps some of our readers would like to share some of their bible reading habits. If you would like to add something in the comments, that would be great, and I think others would benefit from it as well.

The God Who Sees

It’s happened so often that I should be able to see it coming. I was talking with a friend, and let loose with a sarcastic comment. But instead of making her laugh, the comment stung. I had accidentally found a sore spot, and I hurt her.

But there was a further problem: She really didn’t want me to know. I owed her an apology, but apologizing would force her to admit her sensitivity, and that would have made her even more uncomfortable.

I could have forced the issue, but I felt like I’d already done enough. I ended up resorting to a non-apology apology, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. She gave a flustered denial, Don’t worry about it. I knew what you meant.

Ugh.

Besides wishing that life came with some sort of delete button (or even a flux-capacatior-equipped DeLorean so I could journey back in time and redo these encounters), I’ve spent a lot of time scolding myself for this incident. Why did I say that? What possessed me to think this wisecrack could be anything else but hurtful? And yet, I understand her desire to hide just as well. When I’m feeling vulnerable, I also like to hide. During times when I really should be opening up to receive healing, I retreat. I hide behind a book, or go work in my office to shut myself away from my family and the world.

I usually resort to pop psychology to explain these things, but when it comes down to it, all my issues can be explained in the book of Genesis. I’m a sinner who keeps trying to fix herself. Most of the time I'm either building my own personal Towers of Babel, or covering myself with fig leaves. Look at me! I scream. Just don’t look too closely!

We see this in the story of Hagar, the Egyptian servant of Abraham’s wife Sarah. We don’t know the details of Hagar’s story, but we can assume her servanthood in a foreign country didn’t come about in a happy way. And then she was used by her mistress to bear Abraham’s child. Then she was mistreated because of it. And because Hagar is also a sinner, she tried to capitalize on it as well. So she was sent away with her son, and she is despairing for their lives. Then God intervenes. And she refers to him as “the God who sees.”

The God who sees. The God who sees our strivings and our insecurities. The God who sees our sin clearer than we can, and the futile attempts to cover it over ourselves. The God who sees is the only one who can fix it, and he fixes it by sending his Son, the only solution that can actually work.

The answer is not to keep striving. Nor is the answer to hide in shame. The answer is to rest and trust in the God who sees. Because the one who truly sees is the only one who can offer the true solution.