I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t pray. From
my time in the church nursery on, I was told I could talk to God anytime I
wanted to. But I’ve often been confused about prayer.
In my late teens and early twenties, I thought prayer was
something I needed to do to manipulate God. Fueled in part by Frank Peretti
novels, I began to feel that God needed my prayers in order to act. If I would
have thought this through to its logical conclusion I would have realized the
absurdity of it, but apparently I didn’t. It was as if my prayers filled some
sort of a tank, and if it finally got full enough, God would be able to move.
When realized that a sovereign God doesn’t need my help
(Acts 17:25), it was a great relief. I could rest. I didn’t have to worry about
someday hearing about all the things God wanted to accomplish but wasn’t able
to because of my prayerlessness. That realization was a needed balm to my
weary, fretful soul. But I’m afraid I became too lax in my prayer life, to my
own detriment.
We should be careful not to presume that the right doctrine
lies in the middle of two extremes, but in this case it does. Or perhaps this
is best described as a both/and situation. Is God sovereign and able to do as
he wishes without our help? Yes. Does God move in response to our prayers? Yes.
I still can’t explain how a sovereign God works through our
prayers, but he does. He wants to hear our prayers, and he listens to us. I
could spend a lifetime (and beyond) trying to plumb the depths of this glorious
truth and never get to the bottom of it. The God who knows the end from the
beginning (Isaiah 46:10), works all things according to the counsel of his will
(Ephesians 1:11) for my good and his glory (Romans 8:28). And one of the means
he accomplishes this is through my prayers.
I have seen some wonderful answers to prayer in the last
year or so. I have watched God move in situations that I had given up as
hopeless. I have seen God provide in ways that I never could have predicted.
But still my heart is heavy. We sin against each other and
hurt each other. People receive devastating medical diagnoses. The mountains
and obstacles often seem so very tall compared to our feeble abilities.
And so I pray. I don’t know how, I don’t know when, and I
don’t know if it will be to my liking, but I know God will move in his time and
in his way. For my good and his glory.