Packer discusses things we should be doing as we seek to manifest God's power in our own lives. One of those things is meeting the needs of others. He says: "It is right to be a channel of divine power into other people's lives at their point of need." Who doesn't like to feel needed? As he often does, however, he cautions the reader. All good principles can be abused.
We are to find our personal worth in God's redeeming love, not in the feeling of being needed. While we should meet the needs of those around us, deriving our sense of worth from being needed is not wise. Serving others to make ourselves feel good is not love, either.
If I am using my neighbours to bolster my sense of self-worth, I am using them, which is something different from loving them.How do I react to the truth that God doesn't really need me? Do I believe it? Do I doubt that God can achieve his purposes without me? Do I meet the needs of someone from a heart of gratitude and and love, or am I seeking validation?
Packer then goes on to present a scenario that I found very convicting:
Imagine, now, a devoted and gifted Christian woman, whose ministry has been precious to her, finding that for quite a long period the Lord sidelines her so that her potential is not being used. What is going on? Is this spiritual failure? It is probably not spiritual failure at all, but a lesson in Christ's school of holiness. The Lord is reminding her that her life does not depend on finding that people need her. The prime source of her joy must always be the knowledge of God's love for her -- the knowledge that though he did not need her, he has chosen to love her freely and gloriously so that she may have the eternal joy of fellowship with him.*How am I at being unnoticed? Being sidelined? About two years ago, my local church lost a sister in Christ who was serving the Lord faithfully. She had been doing so for many years, and the impact she'd had was noticeable. She was sidelined by illness. She was no longer able to do what she had done formerly, and ultimately, she succumbed to the illness. Fortunately, she was a woman who did not find her worth in being needed, but rather in who she was in Christ. How would I react if suddenly I was sidelined from serving? Do I secretly think that a particular ministry or task cannot be done without me? Do I really see that we are all expendable?
We serve the Lord because he allows us to. He works through us despite our weakness and despite our sin. He redeemed us despite what we deserve. He chose us in him before the foundation of the world because of his gracious love, not because he needed to. He works in us based on his love, not because he cannot do without us.
When my kids lived at home, they needed me, and I took joy in nurturing them. Now that the kids are older, they don't need me, but when they come home, I like to do things for them as if they do need me. But if I am looking for validation in being needed by my children -- or anyone else for that matter -- I'm looking in the wrong place. Far better to serve because of what God has done for me than for what I think I can do for him.
* I suspect these words could possibly generate cries of "Why is he picking on women?! Why doesn't he use a negative example of men?" I don't know, and I'm not going to make any assumptions.